Why Hanyous and Mall Santas Don't Mix
by luvingreen
Summary: What happens when Kagome takes Inuyasha out for a little last minute holiday shopping on Christmas-eve? Well everyone knows even the strongest man can cry in a situation like that! How well will Inuyasha fair? Rated for violence from certain soccer moms a


A/N:** Hey guys! Sorry, I've been working on this story for a while so now I'll be updating the Gangs, Soul, and Faith as soon as possible! I really wanted to put Inuyasha into a special holiday story to show what really happens in the mall the on Christmas-Eve! This is also dedicated for all of you soft-foot shoppers that do well and shop in advanced to avoid the carnage that is Christmas shopping. I work in a store, and I'm working on Christmas-Eve, and believe me I see it all! So for all of you veterans that had been there and done that on Christmas–Eve and survived, I applaud your bravery and I'm glad you lived through the torture! **

Warning:** I swear that all your about to read in this story, is true! Down to the bruised and broken store racks and crying little children. Those poor, poor security guards. Oh! This is also dedicated to the fallen Victoria Secret manican that had to be the unfortunate victim of that 'War-of-the-Bras'! Ok, I hope you enjoy, I wanted to make this a sorta holiday special. Ok, so I know any 15 year old in there right mind doesn't sit on santa's lap for a picture anymore, but just humor me! Ya'll know how Kagome's personality is, I could totally see her do it! And besides it's uber cute!**

Disclaimer:** I only conceived this story plot, and nothing else. I only wished to see Inuyasha once in Reindeer boxers with dancing Santas for my efforts but I believe that won't happen. Hmm, go figure! pouts On with my holiday special! (It's like a TV movie special or something! Heehee ;;;) **

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**Why Hanyous and Mall Santa's Don't Mix**

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**Inuyasha had endured a lot of things throughout his life, and had witnessed countless lives lost through his struggles. He had seen many battles in his short Hanyou life so far, and had been shown death at an early age. He had been though more battles, seen enough suffering, watched enough death, witnessed countless hate and war through those big golden orbs than most would ever be unprivileged to see. However Kami was seriously laughing his mighty butt at him at the moment as he suddenly turned to witness a middle-aged woman being suddenly tackled by the shoulders by an obviously irate, opposing female wanting the gift in the poor woman's hands. With wide eyes he took am unnoticed step back and looked around only to see people give the battling women a mild exasperated glance before returning to their holiday business.**

**He couldn't believe what he was seeing. He could smell the rage and hate enveloping his sensitive sense of smell and shook his head as he watched the pair punch, claw, and slap the _crap_ outta each other. He took another step back as if unsure of what to do and flinched violently as he heard the hateful the language been violently exchanged between the women. They were scratching, biting, pawing, kicking, and flailing madly while stringing obscene curses as if a second languages. Then of course they fell, and the shiny silver racks became the first victims in the tiny war.**

**Inuyasha's eyes bulged as one of the screaming woman ripped the wanted item from the challenger and started rolling on the ground in a massive heap around many metallic tree like objects. Knocking some over he heard an apparent "OOF" and some well known "Why you little-". **

**He watched as many more metallic tress collapsed around them in their violent shuffle. He vaguely remembered Kagome speaking that the metallic, shiny trees were meant to hold her futuristic kimonos and let people look through them in an orderly fashion. Well, so much for orderly.**

**As he stared on in horrific fascination his ears swiveled in the direction of what looked like the front of the room. There he saw endless lines of huffing, dazed people standing like rows in a rice field. Of course this was just what he pictured in his mind, from his own time for his own analogy. He looked to the front of the endless sea of people to what looked like yet another raging female, screaming desperately in foreign high pitched tones, too squeaky for the Hanyou's delicate ears to comprehend. The victim enduring the tortuous sound from the Jenny Criag worshipper was a young ashen faced male looking equally peeved yet hiding it well under the surface of his pimple-covered countenance. The man was looking the woman square in the eye with a sugary politeness that made even the half-demon shiver is anticipation. He seemed rather subdued as he tried to deal with some unfathomable delima that the woman was yelling about. He spoke in low soothing tones as if to pacify the raving female, however just as the lady was reaching a new shade of purple and looked ready to take the young male out for her troubles, Inuyasha's attention was pulled back to the original feuding pair that was straight across the room from him now.**

**He had to admit that this fight, that he's thought would had died down as soon as one of the women just started crying or passed out, had escalated into a regular blood bath worthy of some show Kagome had let him watch called WWE. But of course those guys were much more experienced and worthy of everyone's entertainment pleasures than this. That was just his opinion. He really liked that show!**

**But back to the show of the ages in front of him, live, which could currently be described from a dangerous potential injury to potential death. He had to admit that he was becoming increasingly scared for Kagome as he tried to sniff her out in the midst of acrid smells of the strange atmosphere. Her time was so violent! He needed to know if she had been mauled down by a banshee like that other woman.**

**He still didn't understand where he was as he looked around desperate for Kagome, but from the fake smiles of the merchants in uniforms as they talked to what seemed frantic peasants and wealthy Lords and Ladies, he could only guess that this was one of the many market places in Kagome's world. He had heard before they left Kagome's house that it was supposedly called a "Mall". Well he wasn't sure, but by looking around this _one_ market place in all it's chaotic glory, he wanted Kagome to return with him and never return here for fear for her safety. **

**He was suddenly shaken out of his reverie as Kagome tapped him lightly on his shoulder. Scolding himself for his dropped guard, he put on his best bored face and turned slowly to scowl at her. However his lecture on the safety of her world was abruptly ruined as he saw the brightness in her eyes and the joy that seemed to entirely envelope her. It was such a sharp contrast to all the disdain around them it made him blink stupidly for a moment.**

**She seemed totally oblivious to the carnage behind her as he looked over her shoulder and winced as he saw some poor _plastic_ person being smooshed as another crazy woman started ripping of the kimonos on display on the _plastic man_. Weird that there are actually plastic men. He had heard Kagome also say those were called "Man-eci-cans". Whatever, it wasn't his concern for the poor naked plastic person. He looked back down to see Kagome rolling her eyes at him and he narrowed his in frustration.**

"**What wench!" He snapped. However her reaction was just to laugh and wave off his peeved answer with her small hand.**

"**Oh, Inuyasha how can you be grumpy on Christmas-_EVE_?!?" She said all the while finishing in a excited shrill. His ears flattened against is head at the strange sound. She had seemed really excited that whole week and he hadn't understood why until she explained the holiday. He still didn't understand it, because it wasn't common in his time, but it was supposedly adopted from the west over the ages and now celebrated everywhere.**

**He could help a small quirk of his lips as he watched her look at what she had gotten in her rustling, bulging brown bags she was carrying. He grinned wider as she looked back up to him and squealed again in obvious bliss of the season.**

"**Oh, Inuyasha this is _so great_ you're here with me!!! I LOVE this time of year!" She said looking at him in overflowing ecstasy. **

**He was about to reply when they both heard an ungodly roar and Inuyasha moved in front of her protectively as they both turned to the carnage that was Sears at Christmas-Eve.**

**Totally oblivious for those moments they had been talking, Inuyasha turned to see the that previous dominatrixes from earlier had now taken out two security guards, three passerbys, several racks, one store manager and were now trying to dig trenches in each other's skin with there manicured nails. **

**However just as he was about to move Kagome out the way and into safety she started giggling. He turned wide-eyed to her and gaped like a fish out of water at her uncharacteristic attitude. Didn't she see the two 'He-Shes' over there taking down everything in their path like 'The Plague'?**

"**Yeah, I would have expected this much from old Mrs. Figg…strange woman. And obviously a little over protective about what she buys." She said nonchalantly nodding her head at one of the women screaming curses at everyone. Then Kagome turned shaking her head amusingly and started walking to the entrance of the store and left Inuyasha power-walking behind her while still stealing wary glances behind them to watch the battling woman being pulled apart and taking each other's hair with them in some frenzied attempt in cling to the fight.**

**As they left the store many smells hit him at once and he nearly stumbled as he silently cursed his highly sensitive sense of smell. When his eyes started to water from the overpowering scents he blinked and shook his head to clear the liquid for his tear ducts. It was just so overpowering on his acute senses. There were those horrid unnatural floral scents that Kagome would always spray on her wrists, and there were also some surgery food scents that he knew just from smelling would take five years off of someone's life if they ate them. He could also smell anger, fear, irritation on people but never the extreme bliss that Kagome was currently giving off. He had to smile despite his foggy mind at Kagome's attitude. She was always optimistic, sweet, compassionate, and the most beautiful person he'd ever-**

"**Inuyasha? Here you don't look so good." With that she looped her arm in his, causing him to blush crimson and let him lean on her as the stress drained from his bones. She must have known it was hard for him to endure in such a crowded area like that.**

**Like he was saying, she was the most beautiful soul he'd ever known and he was never letting her go. He growled a couple times as he saw some stray hormone-strangled males looking after his Kagome. However a gentle squeeze from Kagome on his arm always kept his thoughts back to how lucky his worthless half-demon self was compared to her.**

**They had been lightly walking, and enjoying each other's company as best they could in that Hell-hole Kagome called a Mall, as crazy raving people rushed by them in yelling hurried blurs.**

**However just as Kagome stopped and started walking in one stores she was stopped when a small child caught her attention. The little girl couldn't have been but two and was stranded on their side of wide hall of the mall. Kagome, followed closely by Inuyasha, walked carefully up to her so not to startle her. Kagome bent down and took the small child's hands in her own and talked in genuine caring tones to help cease the small girl's cries.**

"**Hello there. My name is Kagome what yours?" She said pulling out a small cloth and handed it to the whimpering child.**

"…**Megumi…sempai. Arigato." She replied in a tiny voice while moping her face lightly with the small hanky.**

"**What's wrong? And where's your mother?" She asked gently while stroking the girls tiny hands in a effort ofcomfort. Inuyasha looked on in genuine pride as Kagome soothed the girl and was now hugging her softly as she picked her up of the floor to stand her on her feet and held her hand to find her mother.**

**However just as the little girl and Kagome were making small talk to keep the child's attention away from the problem at hand, a shrill caught the air and all three of their heads whipped to see a steaming fifty-year-old woman barreling straight towards them with three child in tow with freakin leashes attaching them to her like animals! **

"**HOW DARE YOU TOUCH MY LITTLE GIRL YOU...YOU…YOU CHILD MOLESTER YOU!!! YOU BETTER GET AWAY FROM MY BABY SNOOKIMS ANGEL RIGHT NOW,OR I SWEAR BY MY LIFE YOU'LL DIE, YOU LITTLE B-"**

**However she was cut of as Kagome, who was shaking uncontrollably and pushing the girl gently to who was obviously her mother, stammered an apology and grabbed Inuyasha's hand just as he was about the scream some of his own peace of mind. He saw out of the corner of his eye as Kagome moved to look at the little girl over her shoulder, the little girl waving them good-bye with a sad smile. Then he could of swore he saw Kagome mouth a Merry Christmas at the retreating girl.**

"**I swear woman, you and your heroics. Your going to get killed one day!"**

"**I'm sorry Inuyasha. It's just when I saw her, I just couldn't let her continued crying all alone and scared. I mean, I know what that feels like to be all alone and small and scared like that in a crowd." She replied as her eyes strangely glazed in thoughtful reminiscing. **

"**Oi! What are you talking about wen-" However his curiosity was cut short once again as he felt a sharp tug on the back of his pants while walking.**

**He stopped and turned sharply only to be surprised by another little girl that looked only about six or seven at most. He silently asked Kami what the heck was going on up there to berate him with tiny little girls that evening.**

"**Yeah runt?" He grunted, ignoring the 'Inuyasha!' from Kagome for his impoliteness. He squatted eye level with the small girl. What she said next was the strangest thing he's ever heard come out of a strangers mouth in his life.**

"**Sir, excuse me for interrupting your pleasant evening. I'm truly sorry. I would just like to have the pleasure of telling you how wonderfully gorgeous your hair is sir. It is truly an amazing color of something I had never had the blessing to see. I hope you will forgive me for my intrusion sir, I just needed to tell you that. I hope you have a wonderful day."**

**And with that she turned and left in a line behind five other perfectly smiling orderly children. Inuyasha got up dazed and turned to Kagome to see her shaking her head softly as she watched them leave.**

"**Ok, tell me Wench. What the_ heck_ was that!?!?!?" He said in a tone of exasperation.**

"**Oh, I've never actually seen then, but I believe there what some people call "True Lights". They are very well mannered people, not that other religions aren't. And there children are always polite, courteous and very mature for their age. See? Right there? That five year old is holding the door open for that elderly lady? Yes, there very rare, and very amazing people. You should be flattered Inuyasha!"**

**Inuyasha didn't know how to respond other than huff slightly as they continued walking. He'd never understand some of the people in Kagome's world, but that was all right with him as long as Kagome felt safe there.**

**They kept walking until they came to a strange set up in the middle of the wide hall where many people were lined, and were with wild-eyed children screaming the name "SANTA!"**

**He turned to seen fluffy fake snow surrounding a throne-like chair that smelled like moldy cheese and a blob of a man sitting on top. Looking closer he saw strange creatures all around and in the fake snow that moved with jerky movements. He read the sign around the creatures that read: "Don't touch the mechanical bears."**

**He turned to Kagome only to see her grin mischievously and squeal once again. She took his hand abruptly and got in line with the others. Inuyasha had no idea what was happening, and he almost felt kind of scared at what was going to be at the end of the line. No, not scared, just ready. He was never scared.**

"**Oh…Inuyasha, I can't WAIT!!!! I've always had my picture taken with Santa, and I totally forgot this year! It's like tradition that I have. Ok, what you do see…is that you go up, sit on his lap-"**

"**WHAT?!?!" He hissed suddenly.**

"**Oh, no no! Your missing the point! Your supposed to tell him what you want as a present this year! And then he says he'll give it to you if you're a good girl or boy and you smile, take a picture and you go on your merrily Chirstmasy way!" She finished in a sing-song voice while waving stupidly.**

"**Keh! I still don't get it but if you promise that this is our last stop then fine I'll do it!" He said hiding his grin as she hugged him from the side in joy. He couldn't believe the simplest things that made her happy.**

**It seemed like forever as the line moved. He would hear an occasion wail from an infant, or scream from a terrified child but he couldn't see this illusive Santa Clause like he had before. He strained his neck to try but it was no use. **

**Though they finally turned the corner and saw the top of the gigantic throne holding 'Santa' Inuyasha fell anime style. The legendary 'Santa' was just a fat old crusty geezer! He turned to Kagome with questionable eyes only to see her staring with shaky anticipation and that same bright excitement glowing in her eyes. He didn't understand it one bit, but if she was excited and happy about it then fine, he'd see where it all went. If it didn't have a freakin point then was outta there!**

**They were finally next as a strangely dressed man in red and green jingling stockings clicked the divider between them and the scarlet clad beer-gut man on the throne so no one else could get through. Inuyasha watched as the little boy that was in front of them earlier looked timidly at 'Santa' then climbed on his lap and whispered whatever it was that he wanted that year into the red fat man's ear. **

"**Man, screw this! I wish we could just go back to her house or my time and celebrate this someway else!" He said rolling his eyes as Kagome giggled when the boy cheered and jumped of the guy's lap after taking a rather strained picture for what seemed like forever.**

**Finally it was their turn. However when they walked up Inuysha felt suddenly very tense as the "Jolly Old Saint Nicolas" patted his knee at Kagome with a strange glint in his eye.**

**As Kagome sat down gently on the guys lap, as if timid of her extra weight the nice little Santa turned a little Hentai. Inuyasha saw the man pull her all the way down with a low chuckle and he narrowed his eyes as he saw Kagome's eyes widen. Inuyasha, not knowing how it was supposed to go kept a steady distance while all the while growling lightly as Kagome face blushed terribly.**

"**And what could you possibly want this Christmas _little girl_?" He said rather seductively, and suddenly Inuyasha saw red as he watched Kagome stiffen significantly as the man called 'Santa' moved his hand downward a little too low for his taste.**

"**I DON'T THINK SO!" He grunted loudly as he took the weight of the full sized man, after Kagome had jumped up of course, and threw him into the mechanical bears adjacent from them. Poor bears.**

**Needless to say chaos ensued after that and Kagome screamed his name after she dashed somewhere and came back suddenly and jumped into his arms. **

"**Inuyasha hurry! Can you run and take us outta here?!? Quick!" She cried desperately as four sweaty security guards that looked like Cop rejects started after them.**

**He swept her up while holding her securely, knocking the baseball cap off his head, and ran at full speed. No one really noticed a blur of red and green as they hurriedly finished the nights shopping. Not stopping till they finally were at her home Inuyasha set her down and couldn't help shouting for everyone to hear.**

"**WHAT THE HECK WENCH! THAT MAN WAS A FRIGGIN PEDIFILE FOR KAMI'S SAKE! IF THAT'S YOUR HOLIDAY TRADITION THEN KILL ME NOW OR SO HELP ME! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU LIKED TO GET FELT UP BY SOME FORTY YEAR OLD GUY WITH A BEER GUT ON THE MOST 'HAPPIEST NIGHT OF THE YEAR!"**

**He finished taking her own words and throwing it back at her. He finally took a breath and was shocked to she her shoulders shaking and her hair covering her face. He hadn't meant to make her cry, but he scolded himself when he retraced his hatful words. He ruined her day he bet, and made her feel bad. He hadn't meant it, he just thought that that whole situation back there was uber weird!**

"**Kagome, I'm sorry I just, I dunno, I just…huh? Are you _laughing_?!!?!?!" He cried as he heard her muffled giggles.**

"**HAHAHAHA! Merrrrrrrry Christmas you big LUG!" She cried launching herself onto him and showing him what she picked up as he had grabbed for her at their last second in the Mall. He peered down curiously at he small piece of paper in her small hands and started cracking up as well. **

"**Well, this is the best Christmas I've had by far!" He smiled down at her, with his fangs poking out adorably. **

**On the small paper was a picture Kagome's shell shocked face which was a beet red color with Inuyasha poising karate style, while the fat 'Santa' was in mid flight toward the poor defenseless mechanical snow bears. It was the first original Santa picture she had had in a long time. If you didn't count the one when she was eight and sneezed all over Santa, while giving him a nice snotty beard.**

"**Thanks Inuyasha for saving me back there." She said gently into his chest as they hugged in the chilly night.**

"**Keh." He said just as gently. Then he growled as he thought of that santa man. **

"**I hate that Santa guy." Kagome just giggled in reply.**

"**Well, I'm sure he's not too fond of you either." She giggled as she pointed straight above their heads, on her front porch, at the light green mistletoe and blushed.**

**Inuyasha's face went instant red but he still bent down slowly and gave her a soft peck on the lips. **

"**Merry Christmas Kagome."**

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**Ok…I know it's a little fuffy at the end, but everything that happened in between at the mall was all true up to the throwing the Santa bit. I used every experience I could think of. And the part about the "True Light" is a real life experience! I wasn't making fun at all, but I thought it was extremely cute! Have a Merry Christmas everyone! And may God bless! OH! And please review!**

**Love Luvingreen!**


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